How to navigate Mother’s Day after you lost your mother

Mother’s Day can be especially challenging after losing your mother. Learn gentle, expert backed ways to plan the day, honor your mother, practice self care and find grief support through hospice bereavement resources.

Mother’s Day can be difficult and bring many emotions, no matter how much time has passed since losing your mother. 

“For many, Mother’s Day grief can be as significant as their mother’s birthday, Christmas or anniversaries of their mother’s death,” explained Kristi J., bereavement coordinator of Mount Carmel Hospice in Columbus, Ohio. “Be prepared for a myriad of emotions when it comes to grief during a holiday.” 

Coping with grief on Mother’s Day

Planning your approach for the day can help reduce anxiety as Mother’s Day approaches. 

“When you know a special day like Mother’s Day is coming up, don’t wait until the last minute to think about what you want to do that day,” advised Maria B., Bereavement Coordinator for Saint Agnes Home Health & Hospice in Fresno, California. “Without a plan, you may find yourself overwhelmed, end up not doing anything at all and then feel guilty about [it].”  

There’s no right way to spend Mother’s Day 

Mother’s Day can look different for everyone. 

“Be creative,” advised Cheryl B., bereavement coordinator, Holy Cross Home Care & Hospice in Maryland. “Each Mother’s Day can look different, year to year. You could spend that day with a special family member or your mother’s friends, invite other people to join in your plan or create a new Mother’s Day ritual by repeating a past Mother’s Day activity you shared with your mother. You could also go to her favorite spots, take a mini vacation in her honor or visit a place that she wanted to visit but was never able to.” 

Mother’s Day could also be about your own self-care. 

“Taking a self-love day, doing something that gives you joy or having a spa day are all great options,” Cheryl suggested. 

Stay flexible when you have Mother’s Day grief

Flexibility in planning is key when navigating significant days like Mother’s Day. 

“Make a tentative plan but be flexible to change your mind if needed when the day comes,” Kristi said. “Give yourself grace and remind yourself that you are doing the best you can because significant days are just hard.” 

“Give yourself permission to adjust as needed,” said Annette H., Bereavement Coordinator of Mount Carmel Hospice in Columbus, Ohio. “Sometimes we're a bit ambitious and find our plan overwhelming. Lean into things that bring you relief, joy and connection.” 

Navigating Mother’s Day without Mom

“Do what feels right to you,” Kristi said. “Some people choose to honor their mothers by going to their mother’s favorite restaurant, making her favorite foods or continuing the same traditions as when their mother was alive. Others feel like visiting the cemetery, calling an elderly family member, looking at pictures or spending a quiet day at home.”

Our hospice teams offer free, professionally led bereavement support for those navigating grief. Learn more about bereavement support

Support groups can be helpful when navigating how to cope with Mother’s Day after losing your mother, offering a safe space to talk through emotions and feel less alone. Hearing from others who have faced the same questions can provide comfort and gentle ideas that feel manageable. Support groups often share meaningful ways to honor your mother and can inspire Mother’s Day grief support ideas.